being a mom

Before I had Blake, my little sister kept telling me that being a mom is SO much better than babysitting.

I thought back to my babysitting days. I always got giddy when I would win over a family in the neighborhood and become their favorite. I loved taking my babysitting bag chocked full of games and activities. And man, those $3 an hour paychecks were to die for! When I was a nanny, I caught an even better glimpse into motherhood. I became attached to those 2 little boys and they became attached to me. Even though days were long sometimes, I grew to love them. In fact, that is where I became okay with the idea of having boys. Yet, I was still extremely grateful that it wasn't me that had to wake up 4 times in the night to their cries. I didn't have to worry about discipline or make decisions regarding parenting styles. I was relieved that I wasn't the mom and I always wondered what it would be like to be THE mom with all those respsonsibilities. Could I handle it, I thought?

But now, I totally agree with my sister. Being a mom is SO much better than babysitting. Sure, it is hard work. There are sleepless nights. There are days that I don't get anything "done". There isn't as much "freedom". Yet when I go in to Blake's room at 4 am and see those dark eyes look up to me or see that quick smile or hear the cutest little whimper, my heart bursts because I know he is ours forever. There is nothing like feeling love from your child. Sometimes I just cuddle with him on the couch all day long because I can't get enough of him.

That love reminds me of the love my mom had for me. She was so happy being a mother. I knew there were times she would get frustrated with us, but deep down, I always knew that she was content "just" being a mom. Her family and the gospel brought her the greatest happiness. And now, I am beginning to see how that is quite possible. This picture of her and my dad sums up her zest for life. It was taken just a few weeks after they were married. I keep it on my dresser to always remind me of her and how she found happiness in the simplest of things. I hope I can be a mom just like her! Happy Birthday Mom! I miss you.