motherhood

"Motherhood is not a competition. It's a commitment to our children." 

Motherhood has been an incredible journey so far. I'm learning new things every day. Each stage of motherhood has its new set of challenges that try my patience and stamina. It's quite different than what I imagined it to be, but yet, it feels so right. There isn't anything else I would rather be doing with my life right now. 

Being a mom has made me appreciate and seek out the small pleasures in life. Whenever we are outside watching cars go by, Blake will spot one teeny ant and follow it around like it's the most exciting thing he has ever seen. He giggles uncontrollably as the little ant moves about. I'm grateful Blake reminds me to seek out the teeny ants of life, the small tender mercies, blessings, and miracles that around us if we will just look for them. 

I'm far from the perfect mom. In fact, I don't think there is such thing as a "perfect" mom. But, I'm committed to Blake. And that commitment is what matters. It's that commitment that makes a mother perfect.

I'm grateful for my own mother who exemplified this commitment to me and my siblings. I rarely remember her going out with friends. She came to every soccer game, track meet, assembly, and everything else she could possibly come to. When my little brother went to 1st grade, numerous people asked her if she was going to go back to work with all of her spare time. She chose to be at home, to be there for us whenever we needed it. I'm beginning to catch a small glimpse of the sacrifices she made to be such a committed mother.

I also know how committed Brandon's mom is to her family. I know how much he looked forward to racing home from school and as the garage door opened, looked under, hoping and wishing he would see his mom's car parked. That meant she was home. Those moments of telling her about his day are some of his favorite memories. They were vital to him during some rocky times that all children go through at one point. She continues to be deeply committed to her family, as well as our own little one.  For that, I'm grateful. She never cares what we do, as long as she is with her family. We got together yesterday for a family picnic at the park. And sadly, I missed getting a picture of her with my boys, but here are a few others.

"With every child that is born, so is a mother." I'm grateful that Blake made me a mother.

And I'm so looking forward to having another one. The bump is much bigger much earlier this time around, but it makes me happy. I've begun to feel the little flutters and kicks. It makes it more real each and every day. Such a miracle, I tell ya.

We decided we weren't going to exchange Mother's Day/Father's Day gifts this year, and instead save our money for our summer plans, but Brandon still got me something cute and little. It was sweet. Each gift bag contained a note and a piece of clothing (that came from a thrift store- he knows me well!). Maybe it's a girl? Who knows. I hope so just so I can use these cute clothes.